When Canadians went courting in the Edwardian era, their every step was circumscribed by a massive and largely unwritten code of conduct. Rules abounded, but most people seemed fuzzy on the details. Parental authority was supreme, if arbitrary. Only the lonely hearts columnists — and their correspondents — could offer young Canadians anonymous and disinterested advice about matters of the heart.
Drawing on twenty thousand letters published in the personal columns of two long forgotten Canadian magazines, Dan Azoulay’s new book Hearts and Minds documents, dissects, and catalogues the romantic lives of Canadians in the decades immediately before and after the Great War. Azoulay’s research breakthrough, which he pioneered in earlier work, lies in recognizing that these letters comprise a substantial record of the views of everyday Canadians of that era. Other historical studies of Canadian romance, he points out, have been limited to the social elite and/or the tiny sample of those who left memoirs, diaries, letters, or other personal papers.
In the first four of its five chapters, Hearts and Minds follows an orderly pattern that is mostly illuminating but occasionally wearying for the lay reader. The author states a thesis and then supports it with numerous quotations from the letters (and, occasionally, from other sources). For findings that offer no surprise, the exhaustive explanations satisfy the exigencies of scholarship more than reader curiosity. For example, Azoulay demonstrates at length that the most frequently desired characteristic in a prospective husband was an ability to be a “good provider” — not exactly “hold the presses!” material.
Still, the strength of this section of the book rests in its relentless exposition of the rigid, complex, and unforgiving code that regulated the conduct of almost all interactions between single men and women, starting with the preliminaries to their first meetings and extending through engagement, should they be so lucky. Decorous as such conventions might have seemed in the salons of England’s Home Counties or the Montreal suburb of Westmount, they were a virtual impossibility in the vast and sparsely populated spaces of rural Canada, particularly the West. In reality, thousands of Canadians lacked socially acceptable channels for striking up meaningful relationships with members of the opposite sex.
Indeed, the author makes it clear that many men in Western Canada resented the easier access to female company that was enjoyed, in their imaginations, by their undeserving and effeminate eastern brethren. One could readily postulate — although Azoulay does not — that sexual jealousy was right up there with banks and freight rates as a root cause of Western alienation. For this perspective alone, Hearts and Minds earns a gold star in my book.
A fifth chapter and an epilogue show how young Canadians coped in their personal lives with the Great War and its aftermath. Arguably, romance was one of the first casualties, as conflict separated most men and women more effectively than any code of conduct.
Equally, it can be said that the code was itself a casualty of the war. With an entire generation of young men killed, maimed, or traumatized, the drawing-room niceties of the pre-war era seemed ridiculous, not only to the returning soldiers but also to all but the most sheltered women. In this section of the book, the heartfelt words of young Canadians drive the narrative, consigning the ever-present scholarly apparatus to the background.
I do have a quibble about Azoulay’s sources. Perhaps he has addressed such concerns elsewhere, but I found no evidence here that he has any qualms about the authenticity of the letters or the identity of “Prim Rose,” the purported editor of one of the columns. One recalls the cynical male “agony aunt” in Nathanael West’s Miss Lonelyhearts — a fictional creation to be sure, but one consistent with the publishing culture of that era. To my mind, we cannot assume that Prim Rose was just one person, a woman, who selected and edited material for publication without bias, embellishment, or worse.
That said, the sheer size of the resources Azoulay has marshalled implies a robustness that cannot be dismissed on a quibble. Students of the field will respect Hearts and Minds for its creative identification and analysis of an innovative resource. Those with an interest in how our grandparents courted will appreciate Azoulay’s affable and insightful narrative — even if we choose to skim passages that offer more corroboration than we need.
— Paul Jones (Read bio)
Paul Jones is a retired publisher, a family historian, and a director of Canada's History society.